SURVEY: I'm tired of: the majority of humanities laziness.
I am listening to: MGMT.
Maybe I should: do something more productive... Like finish my costume!
I wish: I had money...
Chocolate is: pretty good.
I last ate: buttermilk pancakes.
The meaning of my display name is: 'Votre Chaotique' = Your Chaos.
Right now I'm craving: spontaneity.
I will always remember: those whom I have lost.
Love is: all you need.
Today: has been dull. People in this house are booooring!
Tomorrow: might be better.
Is your hair wet? Yes.
Is your cell phone right by you? No.
Do you miss someone? Yes.
Are you wearing chap stick? No.
Are you tired? Not anymore.
Are you wearing pajamas? No.
Are you mad? Not now...
Are you upset? Maybe slightly, but not enough to matter.
LASTS: Last beverage? Water.
Last phone call? Mother. Last time you cried? A few nights ago.
HAVE YOU EVER: Lost someone close? Yes. Too many 'someones'.
Made a new friend? Of course!
Laughed until you cried? Yes. I love when that happens!
Met someone who changed your life? In a way, yes.
Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? Yes.
Last person you yelled at? The last time I yelled I was 'singing' along to the radio. It was a song I didn't like... *laugh* You had to be there, but it was fun! And I cannot remember when I last yelled at a person. Or maybe I was yelling at T.I. Hmm...
Who is the last person you added to your contacts list in your phone? James, maybe.
Have you ever tattooed anyone's name on you? No, sir. Not yet, anyhow.
How many piercings do you have? I have five, thank you. Soon to be six!
Have you ever found more than a dollar in a random place? Yes. ^_^
Last time you laughed really hard? I can't remember.
When is your next road trip? Possibly, soon.
Do you know anyone addicted to anything? Not to my knowledge.
Where is the person you care about? I care about quite a few people.
What color phone do you have? Silver.
Have you eaten popcorn in the past 48 hours? No.
What happened at 8:00 am today? I slept.
What did you do last night? I know I did something, but memory has been terrible lately... I can't remember.
Halloween is upon us! When I am in the mountains, I can feel it in the air. ^_^
That being said, things are starting to change quite a lot. I no longer really feel that I have a home, being thrown back and forth between city and mountain. I love the city with a great passion I have yet to fully realize, but we don't have any 'official' home there yet. The sisters and I have been renting, which makes it hard to find the perfect job in the perfect location. We don't even have a location yet! Though, I guess I would be safe in Westwood Village... *shrug* Oh well! Things will fall into place, but they will probably become more stressful, first. There is nothing I can do, but wait for now... And now my rambling is done. Good night.
Everything is feeling so pointless these days. I don't know why I keep trying... Part of me only wants to give up.
I wish for something good to come along and make sense of this perfect confusion I am in.
Lately, my mind is not my own. I seem to have forgotten what matters to me what motivates me and makes me strong. I just cannot remember myself and nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing feels worth while. I do not like my mind this way.
Today was not a good day. I slept for a good four hours last night. I still cannot sleep tonight, though.
Certain people have made it very clear today that they think I am going nowhere with my life, that they find my dreams an unrealistic joke. Perhaps I should simply settle for some "honest living" sort of job. One that would bore me to tears and constrict me terribly. But at least I would be making an "honest living" and I would be well off. It wouldn't matter that the thought of waking up would pain me to know that I would be facing another soulless day. I would have money. It wouldn't matter that even the thought of going to bed would pain me knowing the day that the end of night brings because I would have money. Every day would be a living hell, even my days off knowing that they only last so long, but it wouldn't matter because I would have money.
I am sorry, but my mind does not, my heart does not, and my soul does not work that way. I know what I want to do with my life and I will find a way to do it. Money is not so great a concern of mine that I would let it rule my happiness.